Monday, November 11, 2013

Less YOLO, More Carpe Diem

Oh man, kept planning to update this blog months ago, but it seems I'm a chronic procrastinator.

Update on stuff: 

- Stable : Aaaand it's gone. It was incredibly taxing for my overall emotions, too many scumbags everywhere, bad decisions here and there, constant stress, etc. Lesson learned... oh well. It was definitely for the best tho. My witheredness ratio is so low right now. Poor-ish and Happy > Poor//buncha money owed/maybe broke in a month if these fuckers keep running bad.

- LifeFail : Yeah, my plans are not panning out as envisioned. I think I covered this before. I suck at multi-tasking life. Like..... I either grind......... or drink.......... or try to slooot here or there (and I don't mean slot machines, I don't like gambling).......... or try to exercise........or try to eat better. New plan consists of approaching each individual problem, making it a habit, then approaching the next life leak. This plan might work! This is around the 6th plan I've made since reaching playa. They have all crashed and burned hard. Baby steps one timeeee.

- Poker = Been clicking so many less buttons lately. It's so nice. 5 final tables in last 5 sessions. Been talking a bunch of hands with my roommates and other poker friends, mindset adjustment, sucking less at life, etc. Feel I've learned so much. Hoping something clicked. Keeping it at 15 tables (3rs+mtts), not misclicking on "folding-flurries" (stacked tables), finding ATC spots when playing versus scared fish or non-capable regs, etc. It's great. Hopefully good things to come on this area.

- On Motivation = Urgently need to work on this. I'm the type that binks something small, or has a few positive days and I feel entitled to binge for days. Asked for some advice from a friend that lives here, sicko high stakes poker player named Kyle. Thought it was pretty interesting/enlightening.

Chavarov: How do you find the motivation to, like, keep playing? Do you feel there will be other fuckers that will surpass you..... or do you feel like you're so ahead of the curve RIGHT NOW that you have to play more...... or wug. Like, obv we have different minds, but, like, i win 2k and I'm like "Gotem! SUCKERS!" So, what's your...... goal?

Kyle: That's a really good question. I am 100% certain that people will be better than me.  Nothing lasts forever.   Everyday we play I think our edges get smaller. As for my motivation... What I realized that, for me, money is a really poor motivator.  I don't have expensive tastes or get a lot of enjoyment from just having a bunch of nice stuff, so just playing to make money isn't enough reason to put in a ton of hours.  At first when I was a broke college kid, it was definitely a motivator but as time goes on each dollar won gives less and less enjoyment.  I think I am fortunate enough that I really enjoy learning about the game.  THAT is my primary motivator.  As long as I can keep learning and getting better I am usually having a good bit of fun.  I have gone through periods before, and I am sure I will again in the future, where I feel like I am just going through the motions of playing.  Those are the worst periods for me.  As long as I can continue learning new stuff long as I can keep learning new stuff I think I will be motivated.  That is subject to change I am sure as I get a little bit older.

(He also linked me this pretty good video, must watch)

That's it for now, I'll try to update soon. Gl at the tables